The last 6 months with you, my beloved Jamie, have been the happiest of my life and I can’t even remember how life was without you. I had no idea that a little person like you who can’t talk, who objectively doesn’t do anything exciting at all and who is a 24/7 job, would transform my life so much for the better. Beyond any shadow of a doubt you are the most amazing and wonderful creature who has ever touched the face of the earth!
You have changed me – I have become much calmer, more patient and probably nicer, and you have helped me to figure out that a lot of the petty little things that I have filled my life with before are actually not that important. Now my existence has been taking over by a grinning, giggling, gurgling and cooing (and a pooping, crying and waking me up at night) baby and I never before felt so content with such a feeling of accomplishment and fulfilment.
(On the downside, I have become possibly the most boring person in the entire universe of new mothers, but that’s another story)
So Happy 6 Months Birthday my lovely son, I am so grateful that you came into my life!
As much as I love to see you develop, pick up new skills with astonishing speed and every day open up more to the world, I feel at the same time very nostalgic about every moment with you that has irrevocably passed and that I will never get back. In fact I hate being separated from you for any time at all, just to not miss any precious moment. (This is going to be fun when I will have to go back to work, but also this is an entirely different story).
Here a few memories that I would like to bottle and store on an imaginary shelf, for me to take down, open and relive whenever I want in the future (particularly after you have become an sullen teenager with a questionable girlfriend and a drug habit or something).
1. Your first tentative smiles that were so rare and I would do anything to trigger one. (I have developed new wrinkles from having this big grin on my face all day every day…)
2. The way your face lightens up when you see me for the fist time in the morning, as if you had just set eyes on the most amazing thing in your whole little baby life
3. Your little baby giggles when I sing to you (admittedly I sing badly, but that’s still no reason to laugh, young man!)
4. The hilariously disgusted expression on your face when you try new food.
5. The gusto with which you tuck into my home-made baby gourmet food and how you get so cross-eyed when you follow the spoon until it reaches your mouth.
6. Your ridiculous happiness (indicated by pumping your legs and arms and a big toothless grin) when you see your little friends of your favourite Tiny Love mobile and how confused you get when ever you manage (by mistake mostly) to catch one of your buddies and the mobile comes to a grinding halt.
7. The funny little sound you make when you come anywhere near my breast “Achaa Achaa Achaa” which evolves into a pained wail when I can’t get my boob out fast enough.
8. How everything that you can get hold of goes straight into your mouth. I mean STRAIGHT.
9. The way you can spend hours just lying somewhere talking to yourself, the current favourite is a very loud “arrrrrrrr” which has taken over from the more guttural “rrrrrrrr” and before the much more quiet “chhhhh”.
10. How you love to fall asleep nestled to my breast with my nipple in your mouth – food, warmth and the delicious milk smell, baby heaven!
11. The way you only cry when I put you on your belly and you have to work, you lazy bugger!
12. How you just love holding onto your feet and your endless and fruitless tries to get your toes into your mouth.
13. How you have totally not figured out yet that when I pull your hat over your eyes it is not actually night and you go straight to sleep.
14. Your baby smell and the softness of your baby head.
15. Your roly-poly baby-ness with chubby cheeks which I can’t stop kissing and chunky legs. I could just eat you!
I could go on forever…
Here a little retrospective of the last 6 months: